记住，任何工作中，80%的成功基于你与人打交道的能力
大多数时候人们不是根据谁做得最好来晋升或聘用，他们晋升和聘用的往往是那些能做得很好同时也很受欢迎的人，因为他们是在选择自己以后可能每天都要打交道的人
不要浪费向别人表达你爱他们的机会
勇气绝对是每个人都应该培养的东西。因为我生命中几乎所有好事的发生，都是因为我能够鼓起勇气，跨出那一步，去做一些我害怕去做的事情。学会如何舒适地进入未知的领域，因为正如他们所说，幸运眷顾勇敢的人。
要记住80/20法则，你想获得的80％的快乐和满足感，通过你想做的20％的事情就可以得到。看一下你的待办事项清单，并将你的目标缩小到只有一两件事情，优先专注于这些事情，这样你会更快地看到进展。
正文
Improvement pill here. So the other day, I came across a post on Reddit titled 50 Life Lessons From An 80 Year Old and I thought it would be fun to share my thoughts on each of these points with you. Now just a quick heads up. I'm not going to cover all of the lessons, some of them I feel like are repeats and some of them I feel like just aren't that important and I'll also be adding one of my personal lessons to the very end of this video. This is a very valuable lesson that I learned the hard way last year, so make sure you watch the video till the very end to find out what it is. Let's jump right into it.
这里是Improvement pill频道。前几天，我在Reddit上看了一篇题为“80岁老人的50堂人生课”的帖文，我想和大家分享一下我对这些人生经验的看法。不过先简单提醒一下，我不会逐条去讲，有些教训我觉得是重复的，有些我觉得并不是很重要。我也会在视频结尾加上我个人的一条经验，这是我去年通过亲身经历学到的非常重要的一课。所以请务必看到最后，了解这堂人生课，让我们进入主题吧。
So point number one: don't expect life to be fair.
第1课：不要期望生活公平
It was biased and it will be. I absolutely agree with this. If you think about it, life is sort of like a video game. When you start a new game, you usually get to pick the difficulty mode: easy, normal, medium, hard, you get the point. Unfortunately for the game of life, you can't pick what difficulty mode you start out with. You're kind of just thrown into it, but this doesn't mean that you can't play better than the other guys. In fact you have the advantage of gaining significantly more respect from others and also more appreciation from yourself if you manage to play the game of life on hard or extreme difficulty and still do well. Nobody respects the person who just cruised by on easy mode, not even themselves.
生活是有偏袒的，也将一直如此。我完全认可这一观点，你想想看，生活其实有点像电子游戏，当你开启一局新游戏时，通常可以选择难度：简单、普通、中等、困难等等。但在人生的游戏中，你无法选择以哪种难度模式开始，你只是被卷进了这场人生游戏，但这并不意味着你无法比别人玩得更好。事实上，如果你能在困难或极限难度下玩得很好，你就会比其他人收获更多来自他人的尊重，以及你对自己的欣赏。没有人尊敬那些在简单模式下轻松度日的人，甚至包括他们自己也是如此。
Point number two: remember 80 percent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
第2课：记住，任何工作中，80%的成功基于你与人打交道的能力
Yep, most of the time people don't promote or hire based on who can do the best job. They promote and hire the people that can do a very good job but are also likable. Because these are people that they will potentially be spending time with every single day. I don't want to hire or promote you even if you would do a better job if it meant that my life would become 25 percent more stressful. I just don't want to deal with that. Learn how to become more likable it's one of the most important skills out there.
大多数时候人们不是根据谁做得最好来晋升或聘用，他们晋升和聘用的往往是那些能做得很好同时也很受欢迎的人，因为他们是在选择自己以后可能每天都要打交道的人，如果聘用或者晋升你，意味着我的生活会变得更有压力，那么即使你做得很好，我也不会选择你，我不想处理不必要的麻烦。学会如何变得更受欢迎是最重要的职业技能之一。
Point number three: wave at children on the school bus.
第3课：向校车上的孩子挥手致意
I think a more modern version of this would be to say hello to people wherever you go. Because it's not really that hard to create a connection with another human being. We live in a time where more and more more people feel lonely but that's because we've gotten into the bad habit of closing ourselves up from those around us. Say hello, be the first to step outside and greet your neighbor because we're all human and we're all in this game called life together. The more interactions you have with the people around you, the more you'll feel connected with the rest of the world. This can be a source of a lot of fulfilling relationships, a lot of memorable experiences and ultimately a lot of Joy.
我认为这条建议更现代的版本，应该是无论你去哪里，都要和人打招呼。因为和另一个人建立关系，其实并不是很难的事情。我们生活的这个时代，越来越多的人感到孤独，这是因为我们已经养成了把自己与周围的人隔绝开来的坏习惯。打个招呼，做迈出第一步的那个人，问候你的邻居。因为我们都是人，我们同处于这个叫做人生的游戏中，你与周围人的互动越多，你就会感到与世界的联系越紧密，这是很多充实的关系、难忘的经历和欢乐的源泉。
Point number four: compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
第4课：当你作为客人在别人家中用餐时，要称赞食物
If you think about it, a cooked meal is one of the most unique gifts that someone can give you. When I cook something for you, I'm feeding you, I'm helping you live another day. I've paid for all the ingredients, I've taken time out of my day to make this thing for you and it's not like other forms of creation such as songs or music which can be given to a lot of people. If I cook the meal for you, it is only for you. Complimenting my cooking is a great way to show your appreciation for this thing that I created for you. For the kindness that I'm sending your way.
仔细想想，美味的一顿饭，是他人能够给予你的最独特的礼物之一。当我为你做饭，我是在让你吃饱，给予你今天所必须的养分，我花钱买了所有的食材，花时间为你做这顿饭，而且这不像歌曲或音乐等其他形式的创作，可以分享给许多人，如果我为你做饭，那么这顿饭只是为了服务你一个人，称赞我的厨艺是一种很好的方式来表达你对我为你做的这件事的感谢，感谢我对你的善意。
Number five: count your blessings.
第5点：感恩自己所拥有的
Yeah, it's a pretty darn important to have some sort of gratitude habit. Life can seem tough and pretty dark if you focus on the negatives. So every once in a while, even better every once a day, you should allow yourself to focus on the good because there is good out there. Good things have happened to each and every single one of you and they will continue to happen. It doesn't matter how big or small these things are. Heck one of the things I've been writing down is my love for the amazing soup that my hotel serves for breakfast. Spend some time focusing on the good every day because if you choose to only focus on the bad, you will lose hope and without hope, you will have no motivation to do anything.
养成一些感恩的习惯非常重要。如果你总是关注负面的事情，生活会看起来非常困难和暗淡，所以时不时，最好是每天，都要让自己关注一下美好的事情。因为世界上也有很多积极的事情，每个人身上都有过美好的事情发生，而且还会继续发生，这些事情的大小并不重要。我曾经记录下来的一件事情，是我对酒店早餐里美味的汤的喜爱，每天花一点时间关注美好的事情。因为如果你选择只关注坏的事情，你会失去希望，而没有希望，你就没有动力去做任何事情。
Number six: marry only for love.
第6课：只为了爱而结婚
Hmm...so I recently watched the video about divorce lawyers and one of them said that getting married is like playing the lottery. You're probably gonna lose, but if you win, that's great. Of course, this varies from country to country. But in the U.S where we have a divorce rate of over 50 percent. I don't think getting married is the smartest move. If you really love each other, just live together.
最近我看了一个关于离婚律师的视频，其中一个律师说，结婚就像买彩票，你可能会输，但如果你赢了，那就太好了，当然，不同的国家情况不同。但在美国，我们的离婚率超过50％，我认为结婚不是最明智的选择。如果你们真的相爱，可以仅仅只是一起生活。
Number seven: become someone's hero.
第7课：成为某个人的英雄
More importantly you need to collect heroic moments which is a concept that I definitely need to cover in a future video. It's incredibly important to have heroic moments that you can add to your memory bank. These are moments that will serve as reminders that you can look back on for the rest of your life. By having heroic moments, you can say to yourself,"yeah, I am a good person because I help that old lady carry her groceries up those stairs that one time," "yeah, I am courageous because I spoke up to that bully the last time he was trying to pick on that kid," "yeah, I don't give up because of a b and c." You get the point. Gathering heroic moments like these will allow you to choose and mold your identity into one that you can be proud of.
更重要的是，你需要收集一些英雄时刻。这是我们在以后的视频中一定要介绍的概念，拥有一些可以添加到记忆库的英雄时刻非常重要。在以后你回顾你的人生时，这些时刻可以作为提醒，通过这些英雄时刻，你可以对自己说：“是的，我人不错，因为我那次帮助老太太，把她的东西拿上楼”，“是的，我很勇敢，因为我之前在那个孩子被欺负时站出来为他说话了”，“是的，我不会轻易放弃，因为我曾做过这样的事”，就像这样，收集这样的英雄时刻将使你能够选择并塑造自己的身份认同，成为一个令自己骄傲的人。
Number eight: make someone's Day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
第8课：为身后车辆支付过路费，让他人的一天更美好
Okay, so this is pretty specific. I think a better phrasing for this would be to do random acts of kindness every once in a while. Studies have found that by doing good deeds such as community service, you can boost your levels of happiness by about 10 to 15 percent which is quite a lot. Give food to the homeless, open doors for people, give out compliments to cash shares and bus drivers. Little things like these will bring a lot of joy into your life and also to those that you interact with.
这有点太具体了。我认为更好的表述，应该是时不时的随机做出一些善行。研究发现，通过做好事，比如社区服务，可提高你的幸福感约10%至15％，这是相当大的提升了。给无家可归者食物，为人们开门，称赞收银员和公交车司机，这些小事将给你的生活和你互动的人带来很多快乐。
Number nine: send your loved ones flowers, think of a reason later.
第9课：给你爱的人送花，迟点再想理由
Things that people don't expect have 10 times more impact than things that they do expect. For example, if you buy your girlfriend or wife flowers on Valentine's Day, it's nowhere nearly as impactful as compared to if you bought it for them randomly. Showing someone that you love them on a day where everyone else does that doesn't do it good justice. If you really want to show someone you love them, do it on a day where they least expect it. People tend to treasure and remember moments like that for the rest of their lives.
人们没有期待的事情带来的影响力，是他们期待的事情的10倍。例如，如果你在情人节给你的女友或妻子买花，绝对比不上你在平时的日子里随机给她们买花的影响大。在其他人都这样后，向某人表达爱意，还不够好。如果你真的想向某人表达爱意，请在他们最没有期待的日子这样做，人们往往余生都会珍视并记住那样的时刻。
Number 10: show respect for everyone who works for their living regardless how trivial their job.
第10点：尊重每个靠自己的努力谋生的人
I think there was a story about a famous executive who would invite potential employees to eat at a local diner with him and he would pay extremely close attention to how they treated the staff there. If they treated the staff poorly, it gives you Insight on what type of person he or she is. This is a person who thinks he or she is genuinely better, more entitled than another human being. And that's someone that will only look out for themselves if they were to join your company. People working retail and service already have it pretty tough. They probably don't enjoy their job so just don't make it worse for them.
无论他们的工作多么微不足道，有个关于某著名高管的故事，他会邀请待录用的雇员，跟他在当地的餐馆用餐，并非常关注雇员如何对待餐馆的服务员。如果他们对待服务员的态度很差，你就了解了他或她是一个什么样的人，这样的人认为自己比另一个人更好、更有权利。如果这种人加入你公司，他们也只会关心自己。零售和服务行业的从业者已经相当辛苦了，他们可能也不喜欢自己的工作，所以不要再给他们添堵了。
Number 11: keep a notepad and pencil on your bedside table.
第11课：在床头柜上放一本记事本和一支笔
Million dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3AM. Yes, some of the best ideas that I've ever had came to me when I was out of the office. Randomly on the train in bed in the shower, right? You name it. I've literally had moments where I was deep in thought in the shower and a light bulb goes off in my head and where I've literally had to run out, dripping all over the floor to get to a whiteboard so I could quickly jot the idea down. The best ideas come when you are not trying to think of a good idea. That's kind of how it works. Your brain is always cooking up new concepts in the background and you never know when a good one is going to appear.
有时候，百万美元的点子会在凌晨三点钟闪现。是的，我的一些最好的创意就是不在办公室的时候想到的，在火车上、在床上、在淋浴间里，但凡你能想到的。我曾经就有过在淋浴时沉浸在思考之中，突然灵光一闪，于是我不得不滴着水跑出去，找到白板迅速把想法记录下来。最好的想法总是在你没有刻意去想的时候出现。事情就是这样。你的大脑总是在默默地酝酿新的创意，你永远不知道什么时候会有一个好的想法出现。
Number 12: answer the phone with energy and enthusiasm in your voice.
第12点：用充满活力和热情的声音接电话
The voice is a very very powerful tool. If you think about it, it is in fact an instrument and instruments can convey feelings. A sad sounding melody played on the piano will make you think sad thoughts while a happy upbeat piano song will make you want to stand up and dance. Play happy and excited songs with your voice so that the people you interact with will feel happy and excited too. Use your voice to double the impact you want to make, to set the tone of the interaction the way you want it. You also need to practice learning how to play this instrument in general. Learn how to lower your voice when you need to, learn how to change the pacing of your words, learn how to pause. The better you get at playing the instrument, the better all of your future interactions will be.
声音是非常非常强大的工具，你仔细想想，声音其实就像一种乐器，而乐器可以传达情感，在钢琴上演奏悲伤的旋律会让你想到悲伤的事情，而快乐、欢快的钢琴曲会让你想起身跳舞，用你的声音传达快乐和兴奋，这样与你交谈的人也会感到快乐和兴奋，利用你的声音加倍辅助做出你想要的影响，以你想要的方式设定互动的基调，你还需要练习学习平时如何演奏这个乐器，学会在需要时降低你的声音，学会改变你说话的速度，学会如何暂停，你在演奏声音这个乐器上越精进，你未来与人所有的交往都会变得更好。
Number 13: send a lot of Valentine cards, sign them 'someone who thinks you're terrific'.
第13点：送许多情人节卡片，签名写上“一个认为你很优秀的人”
The lesson here is basically the same as point number nine. So I'm just going to skip this.
这与第九点基本相同，所以我就直接跳过了。
Number 14: once in a while, take a scenic route.
第14课：偶尔选择一条景色不错的路线
Yep, take a new route the next time you need to go somewhere because when you take the same route over and over again your brain starts to go into autopilot. You get lost in your thought and you don't even remember commuting to the place you're supposed to be going to. You've been driving for an hour and you literally don't remember any of it because you weren't present at all. When you go about life like this, you're not really living. You're like a walking zombie. But on the other hand, whenever you take a new route, your brain is forced to become more present because everything around you is slightly different. The more time you spend being present, the longer your life feels. Time slows down, it allows you to appreciate the stuff around you more and this can be a great source of joy.
没错，下次需要去某个地方时，试试走一条新路线，因为当你反复走同样的路线时，你的大脑会开始自动驾驶，你沉浸在思考中，甚至不记得你是怎么到达你要去的地方的，你开了一个小时的车，而你完全不记得任何事情，因为你的大脑早就想别的去了。当你这样生活时，你并没有真正地活着，你像一具行尸走肉，但是另一方面，每当你走一条新路线时，你的大脑被迫变得更加专注，因为你周围的一切都有些不同了，你花更多的时间专注于当下，你就会感觉日子越长，时间放慢了，能让你更多地欣赏周围的东西，这能带给你很多快乐。
Number 15: begin each day with some of your favorite music.
第15课：用一些你喜欢的音乐开启每一天
Now I don't know about doing this first thing in the morning every single day because there are a bunch of other habits that I think fit better first thing in the morning such as drinking a glass of water or meditating and I would personally change this to dance to your favorite music every day which is one of the best ways to enter the flow state. Because it's one of the few forms of creation that forces you to move with your entire body. It's pretty hard to move your whole body to a song while daydreaming about something else. Plus, it's always a good thing to have some dance moves in your arsenal that you can whip out when you're in the right situation.
我不确定每天早上第一件事都这么做是否合适，因为有很多其他习惯，我认为更适合作为早上第一件事，比如喝一杯水或冥想，我个人会将其改为每天随着喜欢的音乐跳舞，这是进入心流状态最好的方式之一，因为这是少数几种需要你用整个身体动起来的创造形式之一，当你随着音乐舞动你的身体时，很难再去胡思乱想其他事情。此外，掌握一些舞蹈动作总是有好处的。当你遇到合适的场合时，可以秀一下。
Number 16: visit friends and relatives when they are in the hospital.
第16点：探访住院的朋友和亲戚
You only need to stay a few minutes. If you really want to show someone that you care about them, being there for them when they need it the most is one of the best ways to do this. This relates to keeping in touch with your friends too. You don't need to hang out with people every single week to be their friends, you just gotta show up to the important events. I have plenty of good friends that I talk to maybe only once or twice every single year.
你只需要呆上几分钟，如果你真的想表达对一个人的关心，当他们最需要的时候陪伴在他们身边是最好的方式之一。保持与朋友的联系也是如此，你们不需要每周都一起玩才可以做朋友。你只需要在重要场合出现就可以了，我有很多好朋友，我们每年也只会聊上一两次。
Lesson number 17: take charge of your attitude.
第17点：掌控自己的态度
This is actually a really good point because it's your attitude that ultimately determines your quality of life. It's not the amount of money you make or how you look or what you own, it's the stories that you tell yourself that determine whether or not you feel happy and fulfilled with your life. Almost all things that happen in this world can either be seen as glass half full or glass half empty. You have to learn how to see things as glass half full because there are going to be some ugly things that will happen down the line that you will have no control over. That's just kind of how life works. But if you can reframe a glass half empty scenario into a glass half full scenario, at least you'll have the strength to push through the tough times. If you don't learn how to do this you will lose hope easily whenever you're confronted with failure or tragedy and you will be more prone to falling into downward spirals.
这其实是一条非常好的建议，因为你的态度最终决定了你的生活质量，不是你赚多少钱，长得如何或者你拥有什么，而是你对自己讲述的故事决定了你是否对自己的生活感到快乐和满足，几乎所有在这个世界上发生的事情都有消极和积极的两面，你必须学会看到积极的一面，因为将来会有一些你无法控制的丑陋事件发生，这就是生活。但是，如果你能在消极中，看到积极的一面，至少你会有度过困难时期的力量。如果你不学会这样做，你会很容易失去希望。每当你面临失败或悲剧时，你会更容易陷入负面情绪的漩涡之中。
Lesson number 18: remember no one makes it alone.
第18课：没有人是完全靠自己成事的
This is absolutely true. When I first started working on this channel, I try to be a one-man show. I did almost everything on my own. All the writing, all the animation and all the audio work and it was tough. I thought working like this would cut costs but in reality it just cut the amount of free time I had to enjoy my life. The moment I started building a team and delegating different tasks to people who actually enjoy doing those things and were also significantly better at doing those things than I was, that's when I started seeing significantly more success with the channel and that's also when I started having a lot more free time to enjoy life. Great things are accomplished far faster and usually better with a team.
这一点完全正确。当我刚开始创建这个频道时，我试着演一场独角戏，我几乎一个人完成了所有的工作、所有的写作、动画和音频工作都是我一个人完成的，这非常艰难，我以为这样做可以节省成本，但实际上却减少了我享受生活的空闲时间。当我开始组建一支团队，并将不同的任务委托给那些真正喜欢做这些事情，且在这些事情上比我更擅长的人时，我开始看到了频道取得显著的成功，我也开始有更多的空闲时间来享受生活，伟大的事情通常可以更快、更好地由团队完成。
Lesson number 19: never waste an opportunity to tell people you love them.
第19课：不要浪费向别人表达你爱他们的机会
This actually reminds me of a somewhat depressing quote I came across on the internet not too long ago. I don't remember the exact quote but it was basically something along the lines of "One day when you visit your mom, it will be the last time you ever get to visit her." and it really stuck with me because my parents are getting older and it's sad to say but it's true. One day I will have to say goodbye to them and I might not be there when it's their time to go, right? Not everyone has a chance to pass away on these stereotypical deathbed. Some people go suddenly without any warning. So it's important to show people you care about that you love them and that you appreciate them just in case. Also I found that it definitely improved my relationship with my parents. I find myself being more forgiving and more considerate because I realize that this is not a relationship that will always be there.
这实际上让我想起了一句我不久前在网上看到的有些令人沮丧的话，我记不得确切的话语了，但大概的意思是这样的，“有一天当你去看你的妈妈，那将是你最后一次见到她”，这让我印象深刻。因为我的父母正在变老，说出来很难过，但这是现实。有一天我将不得不和他们告别。当他们离开这个世界时，我可能甚至不在他们身边，并非每个人都有机会在床榻上平静地离去，有些人会突然离开，没有任何预兆。因此，向你关心的人表达你的爱和感激是很重要的，以防没有下一次的机会。同时我也发现，这确实改善了我与父母的关系，我发现自己更加包容和体贴，因为我意识到，这并不是一个会永远存在的关系。
Lesson number 20: be bold and courageous.
第29课：要大胆，要勇敢
Now courage is definitely something that I feel like everyone should focus on cultivating because almost every good thing that's ever happened to me in my life was because I was able to muster up the courage and take the leap to do something that I was afraid of doing. Learn how to be comfortable jumping into the unknown because like they say fortune favors the bold.
勇气绝对是每个人都应该培养的东西。因为我生命中几乎所有好事的发生，都是因为我能够鼓起勇气，跨出那一步，去做一些我害怕去做的事情。学会如何舒适地进入未知的领域，因为正如他们所说，幸运眷顾勇敢的人。
Lesson number 23: beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
第23课：提防那些没有什么可失去的人
I once worked with an ex-convict who was charged with attempted murder. He took a liking to me and allowed me to pick his brain. And I learned that when you don't really care about anything in life, you stop thinking about the consequences of your actions instead your raw emotions take over. You have no reason to try and tame them so you let them run wild. In his case, it was anger. But for others, it can be sadness, guilt or even pride. All of which can cause you to take some very harmful actions without thinking which is why it's important to have something that can ground you like a loved one, a passion or a purpose in life. This will give you a reason to try and tame the beast that resides within us all.
我曾经与一位被指控杀人未遂的前囚犯一起工作过，他对我很有好感，允许我向他请教一些问题。我了解到，当你对生命中的任何事情都不关心时，你就会停止思考你的行为会带来的后果，并由你的本能情感接管了控制权，你没有理由去尝试压制它们，因此你让它们肆意妄为。我说的这个人，他的问题是愤怒，但对于其他人来说，也可能是悲伤、罪恶感或者骄傲等情感。所有这些情感都可能导致你毫不考虑地采取一些非常有害的行动，因此拥有一些你牵挂的东西，非常重要，比如你爱的人，你热爱的事或一个人生目标，这将给你一个理由去努力控制我们所有人内心深处的野兽。
Lesson number 24: keep it simple.
第24课：保持简单
This one is absolutely true especially when it comes to the world of self-improvement. Because every time I run the Habit Builder challenge, I get a couple of students that tell me about all the habits they want to build, all the great things that they want to achieve. I want to learn how to play the piano. I want to learn how to speak German. I want to build a habit of cooking every day for myself. Now don't take this the wrong way. These are all good habits. But remember the 80/20 rule, 80 percent of all the joy and fulfillment that you're looking for will come from just 20 percent of the things that you want to do. Look over that to-do list of yours and narrow down your goals to just one or two things and focus on those before anything else. You'll see progress much faster this way.
这一点完全正确，尤其是当涉及到自我提升这一领域时，因为每次我发起习惯养成挑战时，都会有一些学生告诉我，他们想养成的所有习惯，他们想要实现的所有伟大目标，我想学会弹钢琴，我想学会说德语，我想养成每天为自己做饭的习惯，不要误解我的意思，这些都是很好的习惯。但是要记住80/20法则，你想获得的80％的快乐和满足感，通过你想做的20％的事情就可以得到。看一下你的待办事项清单，并将你的目标缩小到只有一两件事情，优先专注于这些事情，这样你会更快地看到进展。
Lesson number 28: look people in the eye.
第28课：看着别人的眼睛
This one is super important. Whenever you hold eye contact with someone for more than like two seconds, there's this powerful sense of a connection being made. Because in this world with billions and billions of people, for a very very brief period of time, you're solely focused on them and they're solely focused on you and that's powerful. This is especially important when you're out on a date with someone that you fancy. You want them to feel this way, you want them to feel like it's just you and them against the world that you're really really paying attention to everything that they're saying. Holding more eye contact with people will also cultivate courage as it tackles one of the biggest fears that people have which is social anxiety.
这一点非常重要。每当你与某人保持超过两秒钟的目光接触时，就会产生一种强烈的联系感，因为在这个有数十亿人口的世界中，在这短暂的时间里，你完全专注于他，他完也全专注于你，这是非常强大的联系，特别是当你与心仪的人约会时，这一点尤为重要，你希望他们感觉到这样的联系，你希望他们感觉到好像只有你和他一起在对抗这个世界，你真的非常注意他说的每件事，与人保持更多的目光接触，还会培养勇气，因为目光接触解决了人们最大的恐惧之一，即社交焦虑。
Lesson number 29: sing in the shower or more specifically spend more time in the shower.
第29课：在淋浴时唱歌，或者更具体地说，多花时间在淋浴上
Now there's actually some signs to this. So there are different brain waves. There's five of them that we spend time in every single day and when we're in the shower for some reason our brain naturally switches to using more alpha waves and research says that this is actually the perfect state to be in for creativity, for coming up with ideas, for thinking about your life, for anything that's related to creation. And to be honest many of my best ideas for this channel actually came to me when I was in the shower. And it's not just me. I was reading Principles by Ray Dalio who is considered to be one of the best investors in the world. He's actually the 79th wealthiest person in the entire world as of February 2020. And in the book he says that he spends a lot of time in the shower because his best ideas come to him there as well.
这是有证据支持的，这里是大脑的一些不同波型，这五种波型是我们每天都要经历的。在淋浴时，由于某种原因，我们的大脑自然而然地转向使用更多的阿尔法波，并且研究表明这是最具创造力的状态，适合进行创造、提出想法、思考生活，以及任何与创造相关的事情。说实话，我为这个频道想出的许多最好的点子都是在淋浴时想到的，而且不仅仅是我，我之前在读雷·达利欧的《原则》，他是世界上最出色的投资者之一，截至2020年2月，他实际上是全球第79富有的人，在这本书中，他说，他花了很多时间在淋浴上，因为他的最好的主意也是在那里想到的。
Lesson number 31: if in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
第31课：如果身处战斗，先下手为强，而且下手要狠
To be honest the few times that I've been in situations where a fight was about to go down, I've always somehow managed to talk my way out of it. But this piece of advice definitely applies to business as well. If you have a good business idea, one that you think would do well. It's very important to execute as soon as possible. Yes, you should do some research beforehand and just to make sure that this is a good idea. But if you've already convinced that this is the right thing to do, you need to take action ASAP. When I first got the idea for this channel, I literally picked the name the next day and I uploaded my first video in a little bit more than a week after that. So many of us are obsessed with perfect execution, but the thing is what you think is perfect is probably not what the rest of the world thinks is perfect. It's better to quickly execute on an idea, put it out there, see how others react and then make adjustments down the line.
说实话，好几次，我处于即将要战斗状态，我总是设法说服自己脱身。但是这条建议同样适用于事业，如果你有一个好的商业想法，一个你认为非常有前景的想法，尽快执行是非常重要的。你应该事先进行一些调查以确保这真的是一个好点子。但是，如果你已经确信，这是正确的事情，你需要尽快采取行动，当我第一次想到这个频道的想法时，我第二天就选好了名字，并在一周左右的时间里就上传了我的第一个视频。许多人都着迷于完美的实行，但问题在于你认为的完美可能不是其他人认为的完美，更好的方法是快速执行想法，先把事情做了，看看其他人的反应，然后之后再进行调整。
We got lesson number 32: keep secrets or even better
第32课：保守秘密，或者做到更好
I think this should say keep your word. Your ability to stay true to your word, to be able to do what you say you're going to do will affect how others perceive you. You're gonna have a real tough time forming long-lasting relationships and doing business if people think that you're unreliable. Keeping a word will also improve your self-esteem. If you're someone who makes a lot of promises to others or even to yourself and you constantly break them then all you're doing is reinforcing the idea that whatever you say isn't important. If your words have little value then you yourself will have little value.
这点说的应该是遵守诺言。你遵守自己的承诺，能够说到做到的能力，将影响别人对你的看法。如果人们认为你不可靠，你就很难建立持久的关系，以及开展业务。遵守承诺也会提高你的自尊心。如果你是一个经常对别人甚至对自己许下承诺，但又经常打破它们的人，那么你所做的就是在强化一个观念，即你所说的话并不重要。如果你的话不重要，那么你这个人也就不重要。
Lesson number 39: do nice things for people who will never find out or a better alternative is to do good things without telling other people.
第39课：做一些对方不会发现的好事，或者更好的做法是做好事而不告诉别人
You see this all the time on YouTube where someone goes up to a homeless person gives them a bunch of cash but is recording the entire interaction so that they can then post the video online. When you do a good deed, but then use it as content to gain views and likes. Are you really doing it because you're a good person or are you doing it's a profit in some indirect way. It's much more powerful to do good deeds and keep it to yourself because then it'll mean that you're not in it for the money, the attention or the validation. You do good deeds because you genuinely want to help people out and this will change the way you view yourself for the better. Your sense of self-worth will increase because well you become some someone who can add value to the lives of others.
你在网上总是能看到这种情况：有人去找无家可归的人，给他们一大笔钱，但是整个互动过程都被录下来，以便他们可以发布在网上。当你做了一件好事，但是把做好事作为获取观看次数和点赞的内容。你是真的因为你是一个好人而这么做，还是为了能以某种间接的方式从中获利？做好事并且不告诉别人，这样的做法更有力量，因为这意味着你不是为了钱、关注或认可而这么做。你做好事，是因为你真正想帮助别人，这将改善你对自己的看法，你的自我价值感将提升，因为你成为了能够为他人的生活增添价值的人。
Lesson number 40: lend only those books you never care to see again.
第40课：只出借那些你不会再看的书
This actually applies to money more so than books in my opinion. Because out of all the times, I've lent money to people in my life. I would say that I've only ever been paid back maybe 10 percent of the time. You have to realize that if someone is desperate enough to be in a position where they have to ask you for money then there is a very high chance that they have a bunch of bad habits that put them in that position in the first place. Sure you'll have the occasional person who gets hit with a ridiculous amount of bad luck and falls into tough times. But most people who are broke are broke because of their habits and chances are they will continue to struggle financially even after using up the money they've borrowed. So over the years, I've just learned to accept this fact. If I lend someone money, I'm basically giving it away and I don't expect to see it back. This is actually a good way to see who your true friends are because real friends will understand the value of paying you back and will go all out of their way to make sure they return what you are owed.
在我看来，这个建议比起书，更适用于钱。因为在我的人生中，所有借给别人钱，可以说十次里只有一次能把钱收回来，你必须意识到，如果有人山穷水尽，到了必须向你借钱的境地，那么有很大的可能，他们有很多坏习惯导致他们陷入这种境地。当然你会偶尔遇到一些倒霉的人，遭受了很多不幸，陷入了困境。但大多数没钱的人，之所以没钱，是因为他们的习惯不好，很有可能即使他们用光了借的钱之后，也依然难以走出经济的困境。因此，多年来，我已经学会了接受这个事实。如果我借给别人钱，我基本上就是送给别人了。我不指望能拿回来，这实际上是一种测试你真正朋友的好方法，因为真正的朋友会懂得还钱的重要性，并会尽其所能确保还清所欠你的钱。
Lesson number 42: when playing games with children, let them win.
第42课：与孩子玩游戏时要让他们赢
Once in a while that is. Because in order for someone to have fun in any sort of game or challenge, they need to be able to win at least one third of the time. If it's any harder than the experience becomes too frustrating and they will lose the motivation to play. On the other hand, if it's too easy, if you let them win all of the time then the experience becomes boring and they will again lose their motivation to play. This piece of advice applies to learning skills as will. You want to find the sweet spot in regards to the difficulty level when practicing any skill so that you will continue to feel motivated to work on it.
时不时让孩子们一次，因为在任何游戏或挑战中要想获得乐趣，他们需要赢得至少三分之一的比赛。如果游戏太难，那么体验就会变得太挫败，他们会失去继续玩的动力。另一方面，如果太容易，如果你让他们一直赢，那么体验就会变得无聊，他们也会失去玩的动力，这个建议也适用于学习技能，你需要找到在练习任何技能时的最适难度水平，以使你能够继续感到有动力去努力。
Lesson number 43: give people a second chance but not a third.
第43课：给人第二次机会，但不要给第三次
Okay, everyone makes mistakes. But making two of the same mistake in a very short period of time. Yeah, that's a huge red flag that just shows you what type of person they really are. And you have to understand that it's actually extremely hard for people to change. People don't change unless their habits change. So it doesn't matter what sort of amazing speech you give them or how much more time and energy you devote to them. They're probably going to disappoint you again. If you really want to give a loved one a third chance then you should probably wait until they've genuinely showed you that they've changed first. Pay close attention to their actions over a period of time. Don't just listen to their words.
每个人都会犯错，但短的时间内犯同样的错误两次，这是一个危险的警示，向你表明了他们真正的人品，而且你必须明白，人们真正做出改变是非常困难的，人们只有改变了他们的习惯才会改变，所以无论你多么苦口婆心地劝诫他们，或者你在他们身上花费了多少时间和精力，他们可能还是会再次让你失望。如果你真的想给一个重要的人第三次机会，那么你应该等到他们真正向你表明了他们已经改变，在一段时间内仔细观察他们的行动，不要仅仅听他们怎么说。
Lesson number 47: don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments.
第47课：不要让手机打断重要时刻
Nowadays whenever I go to a concert or rave or even the club. I see tons of people holding up their phones recording the experience and putting it on social media. The purpose of you being at these events is to enjoy the music, to feel the energy in the room, to have fun with your friends. You're not there to gather another highlight reel to show people that you have a life. And also it's not like you're the only one that goes to events like these and records it. Everyone does it nowadays. So it's not even special anymore. You're not impressing anyone. Put down the phone and focus on what's in front of you. You'll feel happier when you do this because it's nearly impossible for you to enjoy the moment when you're double checking your phone to see how many likes and comments you got from that new clip you posted on your story.
现在每当我去参加音乐会、狂欢派对甚至去夜店时，我都会看到很多人举着手机，记录这些经历并发布到社交媒体上，你去这些活动的目的，是为了享受音乐、感受那里的能量，和朋友们一起玩乐。你不是为了收集展示给别人看的你的生活亮点集，而且并不是只有你一个人去这些地方并记录，现在每个人都这么做，所以这已经不再特别了，你并不会惊艳任何人，放下手机，专注于眼前的事情。当你这样做时，你会感到更快乐，因为当你不停检查手机，查看你的发帖收获了多少赞和评论时，你根本无心享受这一时刻。
Lesson number 48 and lesson number 49: be a good loser and be a good winner.
第48和49课：做体面的失败者和胜利者
Yeah, there are going to be people who are better than you at things in life. And there are going to be people who are worse than you at things in life. In either case you must be careful of how your ego reacts. When confronted with someone who is better than us at something, our ego will instinctively act defensively. Don't allow yourself to get angry or upset because they bested you. Realize that you have much to learn from this person and take on the position of a student, ask them for their advice and figure out how to get better. When confronted with someone who is worse than us at something, our ego will instinctively act aggressively. In these cases, resist the urge to crush their spirits and remember to be humble. You can try to take on the position of a teacher and give them some pointers but also realize that some people do not want to be taught. In those cases. just let it go.
生活中，总会有人比你做得更好，也会有人比你做得更差。在任何情况下，你都必须注意你的自我如何反应。当面对比自己更擅长某事的人时，自我会本能地采取防御性行动，不要让自己因为失败而生气或沮丧，意识到你可以向这个人学习很多，扮演学生的角色，向他们寻求建议，学习如何变得更好。当面对比自己更差的人时，自我会本能地采取攻击性行为。在这种情况下，要抑制打击他们信心的冲动，记得要保持谦虚，你可以尝试扮演老师的角色，给他们一些指点，但也要意识到有些人不想被教导，在这种情况下，就放弃。
And last but not least, the one big lesson that I learned last year: happiness resides in the present moment.
最后但很重要的,我去年学到的宝贵一课：幸福存在于当下
So spend more time there every single day. To be honest, this is a lesson that I came across many many years ago when I first read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. And it's the idea that the past and the future technically are not real, right? You can only think about them, you can't physically live in the past or the future. The only place you can ever physically be in is the present moment. Yet we spend so little of our time and energy focused on the present. I think it's safe to say that most people are in the present moment less than one percent of their day. Instead they're either lost in thought, thinking about the past or the future or they're distracting themselves with social media and entertainment and even substances.
每天花更多时间感受当下，说实话，这是我很多年前读埃克哈特·托利的《当下的力量》时，就了解到的一课。书中认为，过去和未来严格来说并不存在，对吧？你只能想到它们，你无法在过去或未来中生活，你唯一能真正身处的地方就是当下，然而我们只用很少的时间和精力专注于当下。我认为可以说，大多数人在一天中只有不到1%的时间投入当下的时刻，其他时间他们总是沉迷于思考过去或未来，或者通过社交媒体、娱乐，甚至其他物质来分散注意力。
And this is not good because we do all of these things thinking that it will lead us to true happiness when in reality true happiness is almost always found in the present moment. Last year I spent a lot of my time, focused on growing the business. I was taking meditation less seriously and I wasn't dancing as much as I used to. I was lost in the clouds almost every day worrying about my next big project and this resulted in a noticeable decline in my mood. And that's why for my New Year's resolution this year, I decided to focus on taking meditation more seriously and to spend more time dancing.
这很不好，因为我们做所有这些事情都是认为它将带领我们找到真正的幸福，但实际上真正的幸福几乎总是在当下的时刻找到的。去年，我花了很多时间专注于发展事业，没有认真对待冥想，也没有像以前那样多地去跳舞，我几乎每天都在为我的下一个大项目而担忧，这导致我的情绪明显下降。因此，今年我的新年决心，我决定要更加认真地进行冥想，花更多时间跳舞。
This way I can increase the amount of time I spend in the present moment every single day. And trust me it doesn't take much to see the benefits. Going from spending 1 percent of your day being present to even just 5 percent will lead to a very noticeable difference. So make sure to remind yourself about this whenever you find yourself obsessing over something that you feel like you need to get in order to be happy. Happiness does not live in that object or that person or that achievement, happiness can be found by simply being present and focusing on everything that is literally in front of you right now as you hear these words. This concludes our mini series on the 50 life lessons. Let me know in the comments down below which one stood out to you the most. I'm curious to see what you guys will say. And besides that guys, stay tuned.
这样我可以增加每天活在当下的时间，相信我，不需要花太多时间就能看到这样做的好处，即使只是从每天1%的专注当下的时间增加到5%，也会带来明显的差异。因此，每当你发现自己沉迷于某些东西，觉得你需要得到它才能感到幸福时，请提醒自己，幸福并不在那个物品、那个人或那个成就中，幸福可以通过简单地专注于当下，就在你现在听到的这些话的此时。专注于你眼前的一切。50个人生经验小系列到这里就结束了，在下面的评论中让我知道你对哪个条印象最深刻，我很想知道你们的看法。此外，请继续关注。
本期译制团：
翻译：AL
总校：良哥
source: Improvement Pill
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